"Love Like Crazy"

No, I totally understand. Weed and alcohol are really important. I get it. You need it to have a good time, its necessary. But don’t expect me to wait around for your sloppy ass and don’t expect me to be nice about it because if I wanted to deal with that stuff I’d be right there with you. But I don’t want anything to do with it, and it breaks my heart to see such a wonderful person with so much potential just waiting around for the next hit and the next shot. You’re better than that. And this whole “I’m too fucked up” and “I feel like shit” excuse isn’t gonna be okay for much longer. I need a best friend that is sober long enough to realize what the fuck they’re doing with their life.

I used to be so jealous of you. I disliked myself so much that I thought that if I looked and acted like you that more people would like me. I actually would’ve done anything to be anybody else but me. I guess I just had to come to terms with myself and love myself for who I am. I’m okay with the fact that I’m 5’7”, and that my hair is always gonna be curly and it’ll take awhile to get long, and that I’m not skinny and i’m gonna have to work to get where I want to be, and that I’m not you or you or you. I’m me. And that’s okay, because me is isn’t a bad thing to be.

Classic

It’s probably not good that I get as sad as I do every time I leave Fort Worth and drive back to Allen. I get in like an all day funk because I would just rather be there than here. I actually cried for a solid 5 minutes in the car because I didn’t want to come back home that badly. I don’t even know why I’m so unhappy here, I have a roof over my head, great family and friends and everything I could ask for and I just hate it. I’d rather be in Fort Worth sitting in a garage and laughing for hours with my cousins and their neighbors. It’s just so much simpler there. So much better. If I could go every weekend I would. I would do it without thinking twice.

i’m so fucking tired and emotionally exhausted that i don’t even have the energy to get angry or cry anymore. i need a break.